I guess I am not a blogger

I have not posted for a very many months. Does that mean I am not a blogger?
Today I am here because I feel full of stuff....stress....tiredness.....blessedness(is that a word?).....luckiness....and so forth and so on .
I had a mass removed from the same breast that had the cancer before. It was cancer free! thank the Lord! The stress it put on my family was unreal! Everyone just waiting to see what it would be. Scott had the worst because he was with me when the general surgeon said it didn't look good. Then after new mammos and ultrasounds he said it didn't look as bad. I asked him, "What does that mean! not as bad!" he said just that it needed to come out so they could check it for sure. So, lumpectomy and reconstruction and new small breasts. I didn't know if I would wake up with any so I am happy with the smaller version. :) You see, we had decided if the instant pathology came back cancer I was having a mastectomy. Since it wasn't cancer (which got a cheer in the operating room) I had a reconstruction of both breasts because the one was soooo much smaller than the other and it had started causing me some problems with my back and neck. So I am a week out from the surgery and I feel good. I am tired but I will take that. I don't ever want to have to do any of this kind of thing again. I don't want my daughters or sisters or friends to have to go through any of that. Even though I KNEW it was nothing this time....it still bugs the back of your brain :/ . I don't want anyone to have to worry about me again. It is hard on me to think about what I put them all through. Family is the only thing I care about. It is the only thing I know I will always have. Eternally. I love them all sooooo much.

Well, last week we had part of the roof blow off. It was scary. There must have been a micro-burst that did the dirty deed. Ad thought maybe a tornado had come. She is afraid of tornados. The noise of it seemed like a tornado. Scott and Casey were up on the roof the next day fixing it. They are great men! Love them to death! I had an anxiety attack while they were up there. It is just too scary.

Scott is back to work after almost 3 months! Yipee! Oh Scotty I will miss you :) He thinks I won't.....I won't for a day or week or month or so....but then I will miss him :)
We have been very blessed. I don't think we felt much different about our finances than all the people with jobs. We all worry. Everyone is tightening their belts. While Scott was home we did get some yard work done....we still have a long way to go! I can picture it in my mind now so that is good ;) .

Thanks Ad for the help with the new background!

Well it has been a very long time since I have posted anything. I don't know why. Lack of interest on my part and no interest on anyone elses part :)
Sooo....I have a great family. I have a great house. I have a great husband. I have great kids. I have great sisters. I have great neighbors. I have a great ward. I have been working on being positive and counting my blessings. :) It really does help. So far in these tough economic times we have been okay. We worry about our kids. We have been very lucky around here but the need for good jobs is very present for everyone. When we work we feel better that is why it is so hard for our men when they lose a job. It is their self esteem. They need to have something to do. Most of the men want to have something to do all the time. No sitting around! All of my men are like that thank heaven! They are all hard workers. I am so thankful for that!

It is always good to get the good news from the doc. I see her every six months. I ask her everytime if it is the last time I have to come in six months. I have to go again in six months....it is never going to end :0 .
My ultrasound came back clear so I was hoping that I could go to the yearly visits. It has been over 5 years since my last chemo so I thought it would be time to move past the six month thing.....I am going on and on about the six month thing aren't I? well, I don't have insureance and every trip cost money....it all comes down to money;)
For the last two years the Dr. that reads the mammos has called me back for a spot commpression mammo and then he calls me back for an ultrsound...it gets way expensive...maybe I should just tell them to go streight for the ultrasound...wouldn't that save me time and money? :) I wonder if they would do that? I think I am going to have to ask.

Favorite time of year

Well, I am so filled with emotions this afternoon. I am feeling so lucky to be here and so lucky to have the family that I have.
I love Autumn. It is my favorite time of year. The colors of Autumn are soooo beautiful. The leaves, the sky, the grass. When the air starts to get that chill.....before it gets tooo cold.....it is so refreshing. I get the feeling that I need to gather everything in. Get things organized. I am not really an organized person but I get those feelings at this time of year :) .
I love pumpkins and halloween. I have been holding back on the scary decorations until my grandkids get bigger. They get tooo scared still. I love Thanksgiving....like Debra (my sister) said to me once, Thanksgiving is great because you don't have to get dressed up in costums, you don't have to worry about finding the right present, all you have to do is sit and eat and visit with people you care about. We do have to cook but with all the help it is not a big deal :) .
So ..... HAPPY AUTUMN TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!